Having a three year old means after an hour or two of watching Paw Patrol it is easy to switch off the Wifi and tell our toddler “the internet is gone.” It is low key deceitful actually the first days it was sad to see his innocence. He simply says “oh, no more internet” and he walks over to put the Ipad on the charger and begin searching for his fire truck. Though what I have realized nowadays he actually seems to move on so quickly as soon as he realizes “the internet is gone.” He does not linger or have a meltdown – he actually seems to relish transitioning to a more hands-on activity. I however know the older the kids get the harder / impossible it will be to simply turn off the Wifi and cry wolf.
This got me thinking about the importance and difference between self regulation versus self control when it comes to screens and kids. Dr. Shanker and his team at The Merit Center https://self-reg.ca/about-us-tmc-mission-values/ have done outstanding work on self regulation and writes: “Self-control is about inhibiting impulses; self-regulation is about identifying the causes and reducing the intensity of impulses and, when necessary, having the energy to resist.” In short self control will help you see that cheesecake at the store and say, ” you know what, let me not take it since I have already had plenty of ice cream today.” Self regulation on the other hand will tell you, ” mmh let me stay away from that aisle as I will encounter a juicy cheesecake and may be tempted to buy it even though I have over indulged today.” Self regulation minimizes your exposure to situations that you have to exercise restrain.
With screens and kids, self regulation will be the corner stone of how kids will manage their digital footprint. The day a child will watch an hour or two of a show and at that point be able to power down the device and say, “okay I have had enough I need to go and get some sunshine.” Now that is a huge parenting win. Rules of engagement with screens are extremely beneficial however what will seal the deal is the ability of the child to actually recognize okay my two hours are done or about to be done I need to start powering down (self regulation.)