I just finished a great book by Priya Parker – The art of Gathering : How we meet and why it matters. In one of the chapters she mentioned “roses & thorns as a way to get conversation going around a dinner table. I was curious about this so I dug up a bit more and This is the idea in brief: (adapted from the Family dinner project)
“Go around the table and ask each person to share the rose (the best or most special part of their day), and the thorn (the most difficult part of their day). This can be a great way to get around the dreaded one-word answers when you ask, “How was your day?” It helps everyone think about sharing their day in a new way. “They added an interesting twist called the bud which is also stating something you are looking forward to – like a rose bud
We tried this today at dinner with my hubby and out two kids – age 5 and 3. We literally explained to them the rose will be a good thing that happened to them and the thorn will be a not so good thing. It was amazing to see them in their own little way give us little snippets of their day. My son for his rose said, “we had two new friends today and for his thorn (not so nice thing) said, “me and my friend were not listening to the class teacher.” My daughter(3) went like, “This is how I danced, and that is my happy story.” Of course my hubby and I had roses and thorns lol – he works in banking and I am in nursing so you know we definitely had thorns in our side lol.
In this study, they found that the frequency of family meals enhanced the health and wellbeing of adolescents and showed an inverse (opposite) relationship with alcohol and marijuana use later in life. I say all that to say this, guard your dinner tables. Protect and preserve mealtime as a family. Get those devices and screens far away as possible from the dinner table. I think especially in the later years when the kids are tweens and pre-teens – a stage when they barely want to even breathe in our direction, these conversation starters around the table may get them to at least mutter a rose or thorn. It may be easier if we start them early.
The Family Dinner Project is doing amazing work to preserve the dinner table. Some ideas for conversation starters you can use and tailor to your kids age :
What is your favorite silly face to make
What is your most unusual talent? demonstrate it
If you woke up tomorrow and could do one thing that you cannot do now what would it be
If you had a super power what would it be and how would you use it