Aagh naptime, that sweet place where exhausted mamas can rest, rejuvenate and replenish their supply before the evening routine and dinnertime shenanigans begins. But wait…my child has stopped taking afternoon naps…now what?? My son is 5, my daughter is 3. I am FINALLY coming around to the realization that my son (and potentially my daughter) is done with afternoon naptime – yeah I have milked it down to the T. The other day I was trying to put them down for a nap – it was a full-blown circus. I stopped and asked myself what am I doing here? Who is this nap REALLY serving? So I took a deep breath, waved the white flag & calmly told the kids okay guys its a wrap – no naptime for today. You should have seen the relief on their faces. They immediately run upstairs grabbed the coloring book and started coloring. After a few minutes my son came and was like, “mummy can we watch?” I calmly replied, ” No honey, this is quiet time, you can choose to do anything you want, but mummy will be here reading her book.” I then proceeded to fix a hot cup of water, cut up some lemon and read my book.
A few months ago, I remember I would immediately start getting anxious wondering what the heck am I going to do with them until 5pm since they are not napping.
It was at this point I would happily hand over screen time to fill the dead space. But slowly I am learning to hand over the gift of unstructured time.
Today I will share some tips on surviving transitions from no naps to unstructured quiet afternoons instead:
Tip number 1: Lay the boundaries of what you will / will not do. It could be whatever serves your wellbeing as well as theirs and maintains your sanity. Naptime was the time you used to take a deep breath, regroup, rest. If you make it clear this will not be “mummy-son playtime” make it clear. If it will be the time you choose to fill up the older ones love tank as the younger one naps, so be it. But make it clear to them that way they can manage their expectations of what is going to happen during this time
Tip number 2: Name the time. What we do not name we cannot adress. Naming gives things meaning. Purpose. Especially with kids. They know circle time is when we sit and read a book. You can call it whatever thing you want. In our home we have decided on “quiet time.” I overhead my daughter (3) tell my son (5)- “everyone is doing their own thing,” I smiled. It could be related to the activity you decide will be happening during this time. If its mommy-son time let it be called that.
Tip number 3: Set them up for success: Yes you want them to have unstructured time but also do not send them out to a bare empty space. Kids are tactile – they are constantly wanting to touch, feel do things with their hands. Make stuff available closeby within reach. Whether that means open ended toys, playdough, have the coloring books out etc. You can set up a reading nook with books and small chairs they can sit around.
Tip number 4: Snacks are optional : Let this not be the central thing – remember this was naptime – no one was trying to eat snacks over naptime. Let snack time remain at snack time. If the snacks are a good prop for the activity and maintain your wellbeing – sure go for it. Again remember – it is ensuring your sanity remains intact as it did over naptime.
Tip number 5: Set the milieu (the tone / environment): Again it is totally your choice what you want to do with this time or how you want it to look. If you are for dance parties – sure go for it. But keep in your back pocket this was naptime – it was quiet. If you need to play slow music or a podcast with stories all great ideas. Just set a tone that is soothing and creates almost a vacuum so everyone can hear themselves think
Finally, do what YOU want to do that will maintain your sanity. You can even opt to nap on the couch close-by, catch up on your reads, make dinner ; whatever will rejuvenate and refresh you before the evening humdrum. It takes practice – like with all things childhood – time & repetition are the secret sauces. This will train them to learn what to do with unstructured time and engage with boredom. Happy transitions!
I had a great podcast interview with Jerrica Sannes who totally changed my outlook on unstructured play. You can listen here https://open.spotify.com/show/4DEMo2wN1LaoZYoqQmLf9v