One of the big rules in our Screens n Kids playbook is “Do not negotiate your non-negotiables.” If there are places in your home or workspace or times in your day that you do not want screens and devices to infiltrate then draw that line in the sand. Boundaries are there to keep us safe. Children thrive when they know where the boundaries start and where they end. They feel safe. They know there is someone to catch me if I fall and make sure I do not tread into murky waters.. We do not negotiate with toddlers and littles if they will seat on the car seat before we hit the highway ; it just is what it is.
Setting those boundaries early, often and repeatedly with yourself and your little one will make the expectations clear which leaves little room for resentment to rear its ugly head. True story – I used to get irked when my husband would have his phone at the dinner table. I would really wonder – what is that that is so urgent that cannot wait. So we had a pow wow and really found out for him it was his “downtime / decompress mode after work and he never knew what an impact it was having on dinner dynamics. So he found a different time to decompress and its a win-win for all. He never has his phone at the dinner table which has made for more engaged conversations, happier diners etc. Did you know there is research to back the importance of family dinners on kids language and development of anxiety and depression in the later years? I had a great conversation on the podcast with the founder of the Family Dinner Project – you can listen in here.
In short, make those digital boundaries and make them clear. Train your mind to find something else to do while you are away from your device. I usually also say the reverse is also true, if there are times in the day you have scheduled for “idle browsing,’ do not guilt yourself about it. Go scroll, enjoy – just make your limitations clear as far as how long etc.