Yesterday our son watched 5 hours of TV. yep. 5 hours. He was not sick nor was there a special occasion. You see this whole week I have been in back to back trainings for work, so yesterday was the only day I had to actually do the actual client work. I had back to back meetings, follow up calls etc. Lo and behold I find out the night before that our son school had a P.A – Professional Advancement day. Basically a day when the teachers work on syllabi, course content and advancing their professional careers. That reads as a no-school day. My hubby and I had not pre-planned childcare and his work calls for him to be in-person. So coupled with the back to back meetings and client work, I knew there was no way around this. Which was also a reminder for me of the work I am still to do on giving our son the tools to manage unstructured time.
So watched he did. 5 hours to be exact. I started by offering less stimulating content; but between being roped into Zoom calls and calling clients, at some point I threw in the towel. In that instant I realized the burden that has fallen on parents this past year to juggle online class and work. There was an article I saw in the New YorK Times titled, ” In this COVID economy you can either have a kid or a job, you cannot have both.” It was so catchy and dripping with truth. I also realized that screens and digital media have felt like a lifeline the past year; the only thing that has remained constant amidst all the flux we have had to endure.
Enter today – day two post-5 hour screen use. This child was wired. We are grateful that he was able to catch a nap today. Some explicit things I noted, he was more physical -1.) there was just a sense of increased motor activity – whether towards his sister or his general movements – it just felt like the Tasmanian cartoon character had paid us a visit. 2.) There was an increased moodiness and whining – everything seemed to throw him off the edge. 3.)He just did not know what to do with himself – there was a sense of constant need for direction – forget independent / unstructured time and play.
The dopamine high that digital media and screen use elicits is a real thing. It lingers in the system way after the offending mechanism is taken away. I always feel a certain giddy way after coming off Instagram or watching funny videos or reels – my reward pathway has been activated. Then after a while I interact in the normal world but shortly after, the dopamine wears off and there I go ; pleasure seeking more dopamine receptors through puppy videos, reels and so on and so forth. In his book Glow Kids, Nicolas Kardaras uses the term “dopamine tickles.”
In younger kids this dopamine high and lows manifests as hyperactivity, decreased attention and focus and just an all round feeling of heightened emotion. I even asked my husband am I over reacting? am I being “that mom” again? is it because I am knee deep in reading Dr. Victoria Dunckley Book – reset your child brain. It is such an eye opener on the science behind screentime use I have highlighted and earmarked half the book.
So that is my rant for the day. I by no means meant to use my own child as a “social experiment” but to actually see the science play out in front of my eyes was mind blowing. Our kids need better. Its hard. It sometimes feels like we are fighting a loosing battle with tech being so ubiquitous, but if it takes a reduced income for a while to save our kids childhood then so be it.