So today as I was helping my son after bath time, he begun to tell me how the best iPad goes to Carter – (name changed for privacy). Yep they have iPad time in kindergarten – you can check out my post on this here. So I ask him why does Carter get the best iPad and what does it have? My son went on – his voice getting so excited – “It is so much fun, mummy you do this (swiping his little index finger in the air to the right) and mummy it goes to Mickey Mouse and cool games” He went on to say Carter gets the best iPad because “it helps relax him.” (I quote his exact words.) My son has mentioned Carter in the past. he says he does get “rough” and push a lot and “he also does this at home with his mummy.” I changed my posture and conversation with my son immediately as I could tell this was the kid everyone in class had already labelled as “different.” So I went on to say, “Honey Carter may need some extra help and kindness when he is feeling this way. He could be in the Red Zone and just need help getting back to the green zone. We have been using the Zones of Regulation chart at home. It is such great visual – my son came home with it last week and it has been a game changer. We do regular “check-ins” through the day. The kids are able to identify which Zone they are in based on their mood and feelings. This ranges from green – calm to red zone which could be upset, very excited or out of control. You can check it out and download one here
I digress. I have seen “Carter” at pick up. He is usually standing outside with the bus monitor or another day he has his hand held by a different teacher walking up and down the yard before pick up. I say all this to say a couple of things. The first one is off the idea that the iPad “relaxes” him. Sure, it can seem that way in the moment for the fifteen minutes or so that he is glued to the screen. There is calm. There is no talking, no pushing nor shoving. Externally all is well. But internally, what in essence the iPad is doing is giving his dopamine centers a hit and really making him want more and more of the device to self regulate. I am not claiming to be an expert on this Childs needs. He could well have a system in place already that works. I am just speaking from the research and work of Dr. Dunkley on stimulation and screens especially in the early years. Kids need less devices and more human interaction. Imagine as a kid being handed a lollipop at the same time everyday. What happens when you are enjoying the lollipop and then boom an adult grabs it from your mouth. Or worse still misses to hand you the lollipop one day – wouldn’t you be irked? This is what is happening to this boy at a neurological level. We are handing his reward centers “lollipops” and wiring him to function off this high then asking why he cannot self soothe and regulate other times of the day.
My second point has to do with outdoor learning. Can you imagine if this class of 4-5 year old boys and girls spent their days outside, in nature – climbing rocks and running in open fields? If they only came indoors if there was inclement weather? Imagine if they did this over and over again daily. That would already set little Carter up for success. I felt sad when my son said, “it helps him relax.” I felt sad for this little boy and his parents who I do not know. I felt sad because there are so many little children who are being labelled and maybe wrongly medicated and we know when you start calling a cheetah a chicken they start acting like a chicken. Get the screens out of their hands and get them outside. My conversation with my son though was also a reminder to me that there is so much work to be done. Our children and an entire generation are banking on us to do the much needed hard work.