Lately, my husband and I have noticed that our son (6) will occasionally tell little fibs to avoid situations he thinks will get him in trouble or that the reality may be too difficult to confront. This breaks my mamas heart because if you have been here long enough you know I am so huge on all things emotional wellbeing as relates to children so I would always want him to know he has a safe space to make mistakes and own up to them. So I did what I usually do when I am in doubt – I headed to the library. I was just walking around in the kids section and the title of the book above caught my eye. – Fiona’s little Lie. The cliff notes version is this little girl (Fiona) who was chosen by her friend in class to be the birthday helper and bring in cupcakes the next day. Fiona on her way home drops the note and totally forgets about the cupcakes. The next day – to avoid disappointing her friend – she lies to her teacher and good friend that a group of 2nd graders ate the cupcakes. When they find out she was not telling the truth, her friend is so forgiving and Fiona realizes it is easier to tell the truth than live with a nagging conscience.
As I was reading the book with the kids, our son did not move a muscle. Usually he is sometimes doing cartwheels (fully paying attention) but always moving and doing something physical. This time he sat transfixed as I turned the pages. Inner work. I did follow up questions; how they felt, the lessons from the story etc etc. It was interesting to see the realization in my sons eyes. That he did not need to lie to protect himself or anyone’s feelings. It was easier to tell the truth. Now when he feels he is about to lie he says out loud, ” I do not want to lie.” If he actually does he is quick to say, ” I did a Fiona.” Inner work.
There are so many benefits to reading aloud. Last season of the podcast, I spoke to the author of the book, The Enchanted Hour, the Miraculous power of reading aloud in the Age of distraction.” There are so many benefits to reading aloud and for me the one I love the most is the sense of imagination. However seeing first hand inner work unravel with the read aloud we just read with our son was a thing of beauty and a reminder to me the importance to continue reading aloud to them even (and especially) when they can do it for themselves!
When a child asks for the same story again and again, he is telling us something important, though we may never find out what the important thing is. The book may be helping him perform quiet interior work having to do with fear or sadness he cannot articulate.”
– Meghan Cox Gurdon