The other day I was watching a mom-daughter duo discussing the importance of “teaching kids to wait well.” Their biggest message was around etiquette, learning to ask before interrupting conversations. This was an eye opener for me because I realized how instead of requesting our kids to give my husband and I few minutes during a conversation I have normalized them kids just jumping in and taking over the conversation. Of course this is a slippery slope because of course there are times there is this huge experiment they want us to see or an idea that my goodness it would be sad to finally turn to them and looking to the ground they mutter, “Never mind.” The idea is not to quench these fires – its teaching kids how to develop their waiting muscle.
Enter pre-frontal cortex. This is our brains internal “break system.” It is the system that prevents you from indulging in the whole chocolate cake even when it is oh so divine. It is the system that reminds me to turn off the TV at 1am after five episodes of Bridgeton. Or interrupting someone midsentence. The thing with the pre frontal cortex, it does not fully develop until age 25. Studies have associated weaker functioning and structure of areas of the pre frontal cortex in kids living with ADHD symptoms. In essence one of our roles as parents is to be the pre frontal cortex for our kids until theirs fully develops.
I have coined the term digital diligence as a way to develop within our kids the ability to wait well when it comes to digital media consumption. It is not lost on me how hard it is for us as adults with fully developed pre frontal cortexes. Especially as they grow older, they will begin to want the latest gadget / device or to consume media and yet they may not be ready. Last Fall I spoke to the creator behind the Parent driven organization Wait Until 8TH – Brooke Shannon. It was such a great conversation you can listen in here.
Be their pre-frontal cortex. Develop their waiting muscle and teach kids how to wait well!