Yesterday after school, our daughter (5) and I were heading to the local park to ‘shake it off.’ My son declined to come and said he would rather stay home and play his ball at the front yard. He had earlier asked if he could play a game on my laptop that he has recently learnt to play and is thoroughly enjoying. I reminded him we only play it on Saturday for an hour at a time. So he stayed and off we went. Fast forward a few hours after we got back and I was tidying up the room, I glanced at my laptop out on the bed knowing quite well that my son had been on the laptop playing the game as that was not where I had left it. I immediately resolved in my head I was finally going to put a password that I have been holding out on.
Right at bedtime as we were heading to bed and I pulled open the drawer my son went like, “Oh mum by the way I played subway surfers on your laptop while you had gone to the park.” I immediately told him “thank you for letting me know.” We spoke at length and I reminded him of our weekend boundary. I told him the reason I have not put a password on the laptop is because I am holding out on the trust I have for him to do the right thing.
I say all this to really say I am a big believer in holding kids to a higher standard. When we show kids we do not trust they are capable to uphold their word – they will stop thinking they are capable. And yes It is not lost on me that there are multiple times parents have been burnt over and over again with kids bypassing passwords, cracking codes to get into the internet etc. My thought is building that right relationship with your child that they can feel safe to come back and say hey I messed up. Hey I saw a bad picture, hey I went online even after you told me not to. This takes more courage than the low-lying fruit that is using devices and then lying over it.